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Writer's pictureNinjaWolf

Trailer Park Boys (Ongoing)

Trailer Park Boys is a new series about love, friends and family-or perhaps it's about everything that can go wrong with love, friends and family. At the center of Trailer Park Boys are Ricky and Julian, two guys whose lives were shaped by their experiences growing up in the Trailer Park. Their childhood was typical of most trailer park kids - stealing, fighting, smoking, drinking, scamming and listening to Van Halen. The Boys have had their share of trouble with the law. Most of their adult lives have been spent behind bars of one kind or another. In fact, as this inaugural season begins, both Ricky and Julian are just getting out of jail. They blame each other for this most recent incarceration and, now, as Julian prepares to start all over again, he refuses to talk to Ricky. Julian wants and tries throughout the series to go straight - but old habits die hard. And that's just fine with Ricky.

On May 26, 2021 - May 27, 2021, I watched The Trailer Park Boys and I fucking loved this show and this show was fucking hilarious I couldn't stop laughing and believe me I have been looking for a lot of different shows and this show has earned my #1 for being the best TV show and Fun Fact I was actually going to go to Canada for 2020 but then CoVID-19 decides "you know what we are gonna fuck up your plans to go to Canada" and COVID-19 happens fucking everything up. It starts off in black and white with two men walking down the sidewalk but when then they turn the corner one of the men says "Oh, My! Fuck! Look who it is, Man!" and the other man says "Is that him?" and the other man says "Right there. Right over there." and the other man says "Is that him?" and we see a man with a dog and that guys take out his gun and the other man says "Put your gun away! There's people everywhere! Put your gun away!" and the other man says "Taking him out." and they duck behind a tree and one of the men says "You want to get arrested?" and the man with the dog sees them and says "You guys, Leave us alone." and one of the men says "Leave him there! Walk away from the dog!" and the other man says "release the dog, Asshole!" and the man with the dog says "Leave us alone!" and the man says "Release the dog!" and the other man says "Put the fucking dog down!" and the man says "Release him!" and the man with the dog says "Put the fucking gun down!" and the other man says "Put it down! Put it down!" and behind the man with the dog everyone is running for their life to make sure they don't get in the crossfire and the man shoots his gun and everyone screams and we watch as they chase after the man with the dog shooting at him and we cut to prison with the text "Van Allen Correctional Centre Outside Haliflax, Nova Scotia" and the man says "My name is Julian. Today is a special day because I've finally getting out of prison. Ive been looking forward to this day for the past 18 months." and we cut to the other man saying "My name's Ricky, and I've been in here for about 18 months now. I'm getting out today, Thank Fuck." and Julian says "Well, you guys are gonna get to know Ricky, I think. And, uh, because I know you guys want to follow him around which is cool." and Ricky says "I tell you one thing, tonight I'm getting drunk at Julian's. and it's gonna be awesome. If you guys want to come tape it, that's fine, But we are gonna get really drunk. It's gonna be wicked. Hopefully, there'll be a bit of dope around, too." and I'm like "we are already 22 minutes in and I'm already starting to fucking love this guy" and Julian says "Ive been, like, kind of like a teacher to him, I guess. And I'm sick of teaching him. I'm gonna get out of prison. I'm gonna move back to the trailer park. I'm gonna live a good clean life. Ive matured now. Things are gonna be totally different." and I'm like "I wish it was that easy man not saying I have any experience in prison but there is one thing I have learned you can't change overnight it's impossible" and the opening plays and it's very calming reminds me of the openings from Park and Rec and The Office in a way and I was looking at the credits in the opening seeing who was in this show that's when I saw the name "Michael Jackson" and I even blinked to make sure I wasn't hallucinating but there it still was and I searched up when this show came out it and then searched up when did Michael Jackson die and Trailer Park Boys and it came out in "2001" and I'm like "that's 2 years before I was born" and Michael Jackson died in "2009" so it's 100% possible Michael Jackson showed up in Trailer Park Boys and the door unlocks and Julian says "I do Blame Ricky of Course I do. Like, everybody knows that he's the reason I went to jail. You know, Ricky doesn't think. So you know, I'm not gonna hang out with him anymore. I'm just gonna look out for number one, Which is me. No more Ricky." and Ricky responds by saying "Julian can Frig off if that's what he's telling you 'Cause its not my fault. It's Julian's fault we went to jail. He's the one force-feeding me drugs and every other goddamn thing. It's not my fault. So, you know, if that's what he says, that's fine. It doesn't matter anyway because the counselors told me it's society's fault, not my fault." and Ricky says "And if Julian's gonna be like that, then fine. I'm gonna blame it on him, 'Cause it's his fault he went to jail three times. I don't need Julian anymore." and right when Ricky says that we cut to them outside and Ricky says to Julian "Right on, man. I thought you left." and Ricky throws his stuff in Julian's cab and Julian says "No, No, No, Ricky, get your own cab." and Julian takes Ricky's stuff out and Ricky says "What are you talking about?" and Julian says "You're getting your own cab. You're no sharing my cab. Get out of here." and Julian says "We're just going back to the trailer park!" and Julian says "You got any money?" and Ricky says "No, that's why I need a ride." and Julian says "Well, get your own cab." and Ricky says "That's the way you want to treat me, is it, on-camera? On TV?" and Julian throws Ricky bag saying "Here's your bag." and I'm like "Holy shit I cant believe you did that" and Ricky says "Don't throw my shit." and Julian closes the trunk and gets inside and we cut to Julian in the car facing forward and tilts his head to look through the back window and in the back window Ricky throws his bag at the car and manage to hit it and Julian says "Could you guys turn that off?" and Julian says "If you've ever been in jail before, there's nothing better than getting out of jail and coming home." and Julian looks out the window to see a woman and says "Gee, she's gotten bigger." and they arrive at Julian's trailer and we cut an officer and the texts say "Mr. Lahey, Trailer Park Supervisor" and Lahey says "Ricky and Julian? Well mostly, they're responsible for ruining this trailer park. Used to be peaceful and quiet here. You know, what gets me most is, All the young kids look up to them. I mean, I got kids flying around here throwing bottles at people, growing dope, squealing tires, jumping motorcycles over trailers the list goes on. And I've been park supervisor here for going on 16 years. Ive seen it all, but those two, particularly Ricky, they're the worst." and right when Lahey says that we cut to Rickey chasing a kid then tackling him saying "Give me your smokes, Gordon. Give me your friggin' smokes. You owe me 15 bucks, man!" and Lahey pulls over and Ricky says "Come on, I know you've got some smokes here somewhere." and Lahey gets out of the car saying "Okay, Ricky, Let him up!" and turns out there is a second officer who exits Mr. Lahey's cars and he only has shoes and pants on and no shirt and I'm like "What the fuck is wrong with this guy and Mr. Lahey says "Rick, Off!" and the man with no shirt tackles Rickey saying "Come on. Get off him, man! let go of his foot." and Ricky says "Give me your smokes, Man!" and the man with no shirt says "Let him go, Ricky!" and Lahey says to the kid "Get out of here." and the man with no shirts says "Ricky!" and Ricky says "Frig off, Randy!" and Lahey says "Randy, Back off." and Randy says "You Frig off!" and Lahey says "Back off! Stay clear!" and Lahey asks Ricky "What was it like in jail, hey, buddy?" and Lahey says "Where's Julian, Ricky? Where are you staying, Rick?" and Ricky responds "At the Fuck-Off Hotel, Lahey." and Randy says "Have some respect here. Mr. Lahey's The Trailer Park Supervisor." and Ricky asks Randy "What are you, his new assistant?" and Randy says "Yes, I am!" and text appears "Randy, Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor" and Ricky says "Well, that's pretty fucked up" and I'm like "I 100% agree I mean imaging going out with this guy in public" and we cut to Julian holding a child and Julian says "This is Ricky's Girl." and text appears "Trinity" and Trinity says "I missed you." and Julian says "I missed you, too." and Trinity asks "Is Ricky out of jail, too?" and Julian says "Yeah." and Trinity asks "Are you gonna come and visit my mommy?" and Julian says "Uh, I don't know. maybe." and we cut to Lahey and Randy and Randy says "You're out of jail. You've got no place to live?" and Ricky says "I got plenty of places to live. I could stay at any of these trailers 'cause people here like me, not like you dicks, all right?" and Lahey says "Things have changed, Rick." and Ricky says "Things have changed, have they?" and Lahey says "Yeah, you're gonna have to keep your nose clean, Ricky." and Ricky says "Smokes -- let's go. Give me smokes." and Randy says, "I've only got two left. I’m not gonna give you any." and Ricky says, "You're a fucking dick. And Lahey, you can go fuck yourself, okay? Stay out of my business." and Ricky walks off and Randy says "What a freaking jerk, man." and Lahey says "Ricky's back." and we cut to Julian where he lives and it's a fucking mess and Julian says "Nice. This is where I live. You know, leave this place for 18 months and let Cory and Trevor stay here, and look what they do." and we cut to two boys one wears glasses and the tall one and right below says their names the man with the glasses is "Cory" and the tall one is "Trevor" and Cory says "When Julian gets back, it's gonna be so cool. The whole crew's gonna hang out again. We're gonna rock the Trailer Park like we used to, so we're gonna clean the place up. It’s a little bit -- Its a little messy now and everything, but we've got lots of time to clean it up. We'll have it looking as good as it was when he left." and we cut to inside Julian's trailer and it's much messier than my room and Julian walks into the living room to find Cory and Trevor playing video games and Julian says in an angry tone "What the hell happened to my trailer, Boys? and Cory pauses the game and says "Okay, Chill. There's this guy named Cyrus. He just moved in here. There's nothing we could do about it. He has a gun and he's nuts. and we cut to a man whit the text appearing "Cyrus" and Cyrus says "Yeah, I moved into his trailer. Nice little spot. This fucking Julian guy, lost his privileges when he went off to Con College. I’m the guy that owns the trailer park now. I’m running the trailer park. And if that big, tough, fucking guy comes running around here throwing his little bit of weight around, well, then fuck off!" and I'm like "You shouldn't ever underestimate Julian" and Trevor says "We'll help you find a new place to live, Julian." and Julian says "This is my place, you idiot! I'm disappointed in you guys. Gone for 18 months -- you knew I was gonna be home today." and Cory says "Shit happens. This time it's not our fault." and Julian says "Shut up! You guys let me down." and Cory says "Yeah, man, but Cyrus, like, he killed a kid when he was in reform school and shit. And he was, like -- got even harder when he was there, and he stole cars and he has a 9 millimeter. And Lahey's afraid to do anything ' cause he's worried about getting knocked out by him, too. It's like he's the new park king or something, man." and Trevor says "Shit changes, man. He's not even from the park." and Cory says "Yeah, man." and Trevor says "He's fronting to be from the park, ' cause he thinks it's cool to live in a trailer park." and Cory says "what are you gonna do?" and Julian responds "I don't know. But I know what you guys are gonna do. you're gonna start cleaning up this mess. Now!" and Trevor says "I don't think we got any cleaners." and Julian says "Clean it up!" and we cut to Ricky at a store called "Woodbine Yohanna Variety Store" and the store clerk asks Ricky "What are you guys taping in here? You have to have permission." and Ricky responds "A friend of min's doing a documentary. Don't worry about it." and the store clerk says "All right. What?" and Ricky says "Look, I need some stuff, and I could rob you or you could just give it to me -- It's up to yourself, so..." and is cut off by the store clerk saying "You're Ricky, right?" and Ricky says "Yeah, man." and the store clerk says "You can have whatever you want. I don't care." and I'm like "Holy shit is that how big his reputation is that he gets free stuff that's fucking awesome" and Ricky says "Oh, right on. Give me four packs of smokes. And I'll take these flowers here." and Cyrus walks up from behind and IM like "shit is about to go down" and Cyrus cuts in line saying "Smokes! Grab my smokes there." and Ricky says "Uh, I was in -- I was here first, there, bud." and Cyrus takes off his sunglasses saying "What's that camera doing here?" and Ricky responds "None of your fucking business, Actually." and Cyrus says "Obviously you don't know who the fuck I am." and Ricky says "obviously you don't know --" and is cut off by Cyrus saying "The name is Cyrus. Cyrus. And I don't give a fuck who you are." and both of them take their stuff and Ricky says "Better chill out there Heavy Metal Dick." and Cyrus says "Yeah? Well, You go back to the bowling alley you came from, Helmet Head." and Ricky says "You're fucking lucky I'm on Probation." and Cyrus says "Is that right?" and Ricky says "Yeah." and Cyrus says "See ya! That's it. Bye-Bye!" and Cyrus leaves and the store clerk says "That'll be -- Wait, Cyrus, You didn't pay." and Cyrus responds "Fuck Off!" and we cut to a bunch of rappers and One of them says "I'm J-ROC, You know what I'm saying?" and the person next to him is Tyrone and J-ROC says "J" To The R-O-C In this. This here's my boy "T," Tyrone." and Tyrone says "What's up, now?" and behind J-ROC is Mr. Green and J-ROC says "This here's Mr. Green." and Mr. Green says "What's up" and Behind Tyrone is Hydro and J-ROC says "And that's Hydro in the back." and we cut to Julian fixing up his house and the rappers approach Julian's trailer and the group is ordering a burger and Julian says "Hey, What's up?" and Tyrone says "What's up, man?" and Julian says "How are you doing, Tyrone? and Julian and Tyrone tell each other "Good to see you, Man." and J-Roc says "Welcome Back." and Julian says "What's going on man?" and J-Roc says "Not much, You know what I'm saying." and J-Roc says "Doing all right. It's all good." and Julian asks "So how are things going?" and there is a moment of silence which is a bad sign and Julian says "What's wrong?" and J-Roc says "Me and "T" got some bad news, "G." and Tyrone says "Yo, Cyrus, Man." and J-Roc says "He all up in this park controlling all the liquor, selling all the dope, you know what I'm saying? Got a gun, running around acting hard with everybody." and someone says "You're not the king of the park anymore." and Julian says "Boys, listen up, all right? I'm out of jail now. This is my trailer. This is my home. I'm not worried about Cyrus, all right? Don't worry about it." and when J-Roc and Julian high five Julian says "Come on!" and J-Roc says "A'Ight." and Julian says "So what's going on?" and Julian says "We doin' all right. We be dope when the N.W.A come out, You know what I'm saying? we cut to Ricky on a slide trying to light a smoke and then he says "I haven't seen Lucy and Trinity since Trinity's 7th Birthday. No, it was her 8th Birthday. No, No, It was her 7th Birthday, I think. But anyway, I was in Jail for her 7th or 8th Birthday, and you know, they never really had time to come visit me in jail. A year and a half is quite a long time to go without seeing your daughter or the woman you love, for that matter, I guess." and we cut to Julian walking down a path saying "Right on, Boys! Bubbles!" and we meet Bubbles living in a shed and Bubbles says "Its Julian." and the text appears "Bubbles" and Julian says "good to see you, man." and Bubbles says "That's my best friend Julian." and Julian says "What's up?" and Bubbles says "What are you doing? home from jail?" and Julian says "Yeah, got out today." and Bubbles says "Who's this guy? What am I on the TV for?" and Julian says "I'm just doing a little documentary thing, you know." and Bubbles says "How are you doing?" and I hear a man say "Good" and Julian says "So what's going on, anyway?" and Bubbles says "Well, I don't know if you were in there yet, but some Dickhead moved into your trailer. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't." and Julian says "yeah, Cyrus." and Bubbles says "He keeps sticking a gun in my face." and we cut to Cyrus pulling out his gun saying "See this? All right? Old man gave me that when I was in Grade 7. Seen a lot of action. 9 millimeter, safety always off. Told me he was proud of me once. Fucking prick." and Bubbles says "Cory and Trevor let him move right in." and Julian says "Yeah?" and Bubbles says "You can move in here with me." and Julian says "No, that's all right that's, you know -- I'm gonna take care of Cyrus but you know --" and is cut off by Bubbles saying, "I think you should." and Julian says "What do you think I should do?" and Bubbles says "Well, I'll tell you right now. I talked to him already twice, and he's fucking scared of you. He's waiting, wondering when you're coming home." and Julian says "Yeah?" and Bubbles says "Yep. So all I've got to do is tell him you're here, and I bet you he fucking bolts." and Julian says "I don't know if it's gonna be that easy, but, you know I just got to watch it, man. I'm on probation, and, you know, I'm not going back to jail." and Bubbles says "You won't have to worry about that." and Julian says "Yeah?" and Bubbles says "Everybody in this park hates him." and Julian says "Yeah?" and Bubbles says "Lahey, everybody. nobody fucking likes him. He fucks everyone over." and Julian says "All right." and Bubbles says "Cocksucker." and Julian says Well, maybe... you know, if you could get the word around the park and, you know, tell everyone I'm throwing him out tonight." and Bubbles says "Yeah, I can do that." and Julian says "Yeah?" and Bubbles says "Don't you worry about that." and Julian says "All right." and Bubbles says "Ill go around door to fucking door if I have to." and Julian says "Enough of that stuff, man. It's just good to see you. and we cut to Cyrus driving down the street in his red 1979 Corvette listening to "I'm Old (You're Young)" by Rick Jeffery and stops at Ricky and Cyrus steps out of his car with a gun and Cyrus says "I hear you're Ricky, Julian's little jail buddy." and Ricky says "What are you filming, more episodes of "Happy Days" there, Fonzie?" and I'm like "I fucking get that reference after watching The Circle (2020- ) because Fonz was mentioned in The Circle and he does look like Fonzie but I have to admit I never watched Happy Days" and Cyrus says "Listen, just give me your fucking smokes." and Ricky says "Buddy, I just got out of jail, all right? I don't want any trouble. Put the gun away. I'm mean you're on-camera with a fucking gun." and Cyrus looks around and says "I don't give a fuck about the camera crew, okay? Just give me your fucking smokes or I'll put a bullet right through your goddamn rib cage." and Cyrus points his gun at Ricky's chest and I'm like "you must be the stupidest man alive killing a man over smokes your a loser and pathetic" and Ricky gives in saying "For fuck's sakes! I've got four packs of smokes, all right? You can have two of them, all right? and Cyrus snatches the two packs of smokes out of Ricky's hand and Cyrus says "No, fucking thanks." and Ricky says "If you're gonna shoot me over two packs of smokes, then go ahead -- Shoot me." and Cyrus says "It's your fucking lucky day, then, isn't it, Jail boy? You Tell your friend Julian to get the fuck out of the trailer park, or he'll have Cyrus and you know what to deal with. Fuck off somewhere. I've got work to do." and Ricky says "I don't even hang around Julian anymore." and Cyrus drives off in his red 1979 Corvette listening to "I'm Old (You're Young)" by Rick Jeffery and Ricky enters a trailer and is immediately stopped by a woman named Sara and Sara says "What the fuck do you think you're doing? What's this?" and Ricky says "I've come to talk to Lucy. Don't worry about it. It's something Julian's doing." and Sara says "What that Julian's doing?" and Ricky says "Sara it doesn't matter. where's Lucy?" and Sara says "Lucy's not here." and Ricky says "I know she's here." and Sarah says "She went out to the park or something, she's not here." and Ricky says "She just snuck out the back door?" and Sara says "She didn't sneak. She walked out the front door with her daughter to go to the park." and Ricky says "I'm not an idiot." and Lucy says "Sara, whos at the door?" and Sara says "Nobody's at the door." and Ricky says "Lucy, its Ricky." and Sara says "That's not Lucy." and Ricky says "Can I talk to you for a minute, please?" and Lucy says "I don't want you to come in, especially not with all these people." and Ricky says "Come on in, guys." and Sara says "I don't want you to come in." and Ricky says "Don't shove me, Sara." and Sara says "you can't just come back here... and expect to just walk back in the house like nothing happened, okay? and Ricky says "What are you her fucking bodyguard?" and Sara says "I'm not her bodyguard. I'm her roommate. I'm living here, helping pay the bills since your ass was in jail." and Ricky says "Well, now I'm back and I'm gonna be paying the bills around here." and Sara says "that's what you think!" and we cut to inside the trailer where we meet Lucy and Rick says to Lucy "Holy shit, you look good." and they hug each other and I'm like "Awwwww" and we cut to Ricky looking through the fridge and he says “I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together. I’ve been in jail for 18 months." and Lucy says "Well, Yeah, Okay." and Ricky says "I'm only gonna be here to sleep anyway, so don't worry about it." and Ricky closes the fridge but Lucy stops the fridge door from closing and Lucy says "You're kidding. you are kidding, right?" and Ricky says "What do you mean?" and Lucy closes the door and Lucy says "Uh, listen." and Ricky opens the fridge but Lucy immediately closes it saying "Uh, can -- keep that closed. Um, Trinity and I cannot have you coming in and out of our lives like this. So just go stay with Ray." and we cut to Ricky walking up to a house playing loud music and Ricky says "This is my dad's place. Sounds like he's drunk again, so... I learned from my dad the best thing to Do when he’s drunk is to stay away. I’d rather sleep in the playground tonight. As much as I want to get drunk, I’m not going in there. There could be women. God knows what’s going on, so... have to find somewhere else to go, boys.” and we cut to Lahey saying over the walkie-talkie “10-8. You got a 10-8 there? and we see Randy investigating the yard and Lahey says over the walkie talkie “10-8? You got a 10-2?” and Randy responded “Randy here. All systems clear.” and Lahey responds “10-4, Randy.” and Randy comes running back and Lahey says “You know, I rarely like to do this, but I got to call the cops. There’s a potential shootout gonna be happening in the trailer park tonight, and - - and I’m gonna call in the heavies.” and Randy says “You know, that’s really unfair, Mr. Lahey. Julians on probation. He could go back to jail for a really long time.” and Lahey says “Yeah, Julians on probation. Cyrus isn’t. Cyrus will kill me. You got any better ideas? If not, put your shirt on and shut up.” and we cut to Randy picking up garbage and Randy says “You know, there’s a lot of different personalities here in this trailer park, and every single person tries to respect each other except for Cyrus. He has no respect for anyone but himself. And I don’t really want to call the police in here, and convinced Mr. Lahey not to, because I feel that in this community, we should be able to work things out ourselves.” and we cut to the group of rappers and Tyrone says “Cyrus ain’t from the park, you know what I mean? ‘Round here, it’s all for all and one for one.” and J-Roc says “That’s right.” and Tyrone says “Yeah, man” and J-Roc says “Motherfuckers who ain’t from the park, they don’t understand the way shit goes down, like the “J” to the R-O-C and Tyrone does, my man here. You know what I’m saying.” and I’m like “what if I wanted to raise my family in this trailer park because I don’t have a lot of money totally not because I want to live in the set from Trailer Park Boys” and Tyrone says “Yeah.” J-Roc says “When you’re not from the park, it’s all for one motherfucker and one motherfucker for all Mo’Fuckers everywhere, you know what I’m saying? But if you come from outside the park, you better watch out, ‘cause you got a whole bunch of park hustlers on your Jock.” and I’m like “thanks J-Roc for the excellent words of wisdom” and Tyrone says “That stick together, too. It’s like a family.” and J-Roc says “Well, your Jock don’t stick together, you know what I’m saying, but the people stick together. That’s the shit I’m talking about.” and we cut to Randy “Every day Mr. Lahey and I clean up this playground.” and in the background, Cyrus drives up in his red 1979 Corvette and Lahey says “Randy, we have company.” and Randy says “Oh, shit, it’s Cyrus.” and Cyrus gets out of his car and says “What’s This - - Don’t you move! What’s this I hear about you calling the cops, huh?” and I’m like “how the fuck did Cyrus find out” and Cyrus says to Randy What’s this I hear about you calling the cops? and Lahey says to Cyrus “Now, listen, there’s people who live around here. Just take it easy will you, Cyrus?” and Cyrus says “I’ll fucking decide around here. You got that, old man?” and Randy says “Just back off, Cyrus.” and Cyrus says “Take your hands off me, Sasquatch!” Lahey says “Now, Listen --“ and is cut off by Cyrus saying “You listen to me, old man. You call the cops, and I’ll make an example of you. You understand me.” and Randy says “What’s that supposed to mean Cyrus?” and Cyrus pulls out his gun pointing it at Randy and Cyrus says “Bang! Do I go to spell it out for you? Now say you’re sorry.” and Randy says “I’m sorry.” and Cyrus says “kiss my hand.” I’m like “this guy is an asshole and a jerk and if I meet any of these people I will hurt them badly even if they kill me” and Randy says “I’m not kissing your hand.” and Cyrus the gun at Randy’s head and Cyrus says “kiss my hand.” and Lahey says “Do it.” and Randy kisses his hand and Cyrus says “All right, fuck off. I’ve got work to do.” and as Cyrus drives off as he says “Remember what I said.” and Lahey says “Oh, my god.” and cuts to Ricky walking down the road saying “Me and Julian could definitely take care of the Cyrus thing. It’s just that, number one, we’re on probation, which is no big deal, but, you know, I don’t really want to go back to jail. And number two or three or whatever number we’re on, I’m not going back to jail for Julian because I don’t even hang around with him anymore.” and we cut to Lahey driving up in his car to Julian's house and we cut to Cyrus driving in his red 1979 Corvette pulling up to Julian’s house almost running over the camera crew and Cyrus gets out and throws a bottle at Lahey’s car and Julian finally meets Julian and I’m like “Shit is about to go fucking down” and Julian says to Cyrus “We’ve got to make a few things clear.” and Cyrus says “Sure. The two of us can’t live in this trailer park together, now, can we?” and Julian says “Right, so I guess someone’s got to move.” and Cyrus says “That’s what I’m talking about.” and Julian signals Cyrus and the camera crew to come on over and we cut to Julian holding Cyrus’s tv outside the window and Cyrus says “Hey, that’s my shit!” and Julian throws the Tv out of the window and you can see the shock on Cyrus’s face and off-screen, he throws out a shelf of VHS tapes and his VCR and people start stealing the VHS tapes and his VCR and Cyrus says “Hey, that’s my shit! That’s my shit!” but it’s too late because people are making a run for it and Julian steps outside and Cyrus says “Obviously you didn’t hear me when I said clear out your own shit. Now, I want a new tv. I want a VCR, and I want my porn tapes replaced because those were The Crème De La Crème.” and Julian says “I want you out of this park.” and Cyrus scoffs saying “I’m not leaving. I provide a service for these good people. They’re like my family. Tell him, people. Go on.” and Julian humiliates him saying “A show of hands, those who need his dope.” and it’s a moment of silence before it’s interrupted by J-Roc saying “I’d like to take this opportunity to let everybody know that me and Tyrone’s open for business. We can service all your dope needs. Good price, too, you know what I’m saying?” and I’m like “Oof fuck” and Julian says “See, we don’t need you here.” and Cyrus pulls out his gun saying “Well, I’m not leaving. And I’m not afraid to use this gun.” and everyone starts to back off and I’m like “why the fuck is everyone scared of one gun I mean it’s been mentioned so many times he has a gun but why is everyone so scared of a gun” and so I decided to search “Canada gun laws” and I come up with this https://www.cga.ct.gov/PS94/rpt/olr/htm/94-R-0838.htm#:~:text=Firearms%20are%20federally%20regulated%20in,the%20military%2C%20to%20possess%20them. and I’m like “Oh that makes sense guns are illegal in Canada but I also read they are illegal without a permit and your probably saying "this is from 1994 and the fun laws have probably been changing in the last 27 years since this was release and my answer to that is "This is from 1994 and Trailer Park Boys was released in 2001 so if I do the math 2001-1994=7 so this is 7 years from 1994 to 2001 and this was the closest thing I can find" and Julian says “I think you are afraid.” and Cyrus says “Fuck afraid! You think I won’t pull the trigger? My brain tells my finger to pull the trigger and Boom! Happens just like that.” and Julian says “Well, let me talk to your brain, then. Hey Cyrus’s brain, pull the trigger!” and I’m like “both me and Julian know he won’t shoot anyone” and Cyrus says “Oh, funny guy.” and Julian grabs Cyrus’s gun at his head and says “Pull the trigger! Do it!” and everyone and everyone is fucking scared and Cyrus doesn't pull the trigger and I’m like “holy fucking shit he basically embarrassed Cyrus and proved he was a pussy to not pull the trigger” and Julian scoffs saying ”You’re not gonna do it, man” and a man says “Cyrus, you fucking dick!” and Cyrus says “Shut up!” aiming his gun at the crowd and everyone ducks down and Julian takes his gun saying “Why don’t you do yourself a favor? You’re not from the park, man. You don’t belong here. This is my family. Why don’t you get out of here?” and Cyrus says “I don’t need this shit anyway. Chump change.” and Cyrus drives off in his red 1979 Corvette and Lahey says “Thanks for getting rid of Cyrus for us, Julian. Now if you could just help straighten Ricky out, we’d be all set. All right, everybody, the party’s over. Let’s go home.” and Randy says “Welcome back Julian.” and a man says “Fuck off, Mr. Lahey!” and everyone welcomes Julian home and Lahey says “Come on, Randy. Let’s go write this up.” and we cut to Julian's trailer at night time and Julian says “All in all, I think we had a pretty good day today, guys. It’s time to have a few drinks, sit down, turn that thing off.” and Ricky appears in Julian's window and Ricky looks at the camera and says “Man, I’m sorry to interrupt your tv show. I’ve got nowhere to go, Julian. Me and Lucy are all done, and my dad's drunk. I was just wondering if I might sleep in your car. Or something, man. I got nowhere to go.” and Julian pulls the down on Ricky and Ricky says “Thanks, Julian.” and we cut to the camera looking through the window and we see Ricky holding a cat and Julian says “I can’t believe he’s still out there. For the past 18 months, I promised myself to stay away from him. I don’t know he’s a good guy.” and Julian walks outside to Ricky sleeping on the porch and Ricky says “Take it easy, Julian. I’m leaving.” and Julian says “Ricky, Ricky, Relax.” and Ricky says “I just got nowhere to go.” and Julian hands Ricky some hotdogs saying “Here, I got you some hot dogs. I got you some vodka.” and Ricky says “I appreciate this, Julian, but, I mean, I don’t need your charity.” and Julian's “Ricky, it’s okay, all right?” and Julian hands him a blanket saying “Here, you can sleep in the car for two days.” and Ricky says “Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that.” and Julian says “I want you out of that car in two days, though, Ricky, all right?” and Ricky hugs him and Ricky says “no more than two weeks. I promise, all right?” and Ricky gets in the car chilling out and drinks some vodka and I’m like “how the fuck can you drink that my mom once gave me a taste of Vodka and I hated it and it had a bad taste and there was this other time where there was nothing to drink except water but I was in the mood for something with flavor so I took a swig of Vodka and holy shit I hate it and in my head before I drank the Vodka and I told myself “desperate times call for desperate measures” and I still regret drinking Vodka” and it ends on him eating a hot dog. It’s night time and a dog is barking and Ricky says, ”Shut up! You better shut up, or I’ll come out there after you. I swear to go, I’ll kill every one of you!” and Julian says “Ricky, would you shut up! Go to sleep!“ and we cut to Julian looking through the newspaper and Julian says “Well, I’ve been out of jail for a week now, and it’s time for me to make some important decisions in my life. I'm gonna go to community college.” and we hear Ricky outside say “Will you dogs please stop barking? I’m trying to sleep here. Please?” and Julian says “I'm gonna become an electrician, a meat cutter, or I’m gonna get into television and radio broadcasting.” and I’m like, “I think television and radio broadcasting is a perfect fit for him” and Ricky says “Stop fucking barking.” and then we hear Gun shoots and I literally jumped in my seat because that came out of nowhere and we get outside and we see Ricky shooting off his gun and Julian says “Ricky, what are you shooting at?” and Ricky says “Shut the fuck up! Squirrels and Dogs and Assholes. Shut up!” and Julian says “Ricky! Ricky! Hold your fire.” and the barking continues and Julian says to Ricky, “Jesus. What are you doing?” and Ricky says “Shh, Shh! Listen, Listen.” and the dog barks and Ricky shoots at it saying “Asshole.” and Julian says “Ricky, what are you doing?” and Ricky says “What the hell? and Ricky says, “I can’t handle this living-in-car stuff.” and Ricky says, “Do you want to go back to jail?” and Ricky says “Listen to this stuff. Listen to that asshole over there.” and Julian says “Get in the Car! Get in the car!” and a man says “Stop fucking firing!” and Julian says “Jesus. Get in there!” and Ricky honks the horn and Ricky says “What in the fuck?!” and Julian says “Shut up.” and Ricky says “Wish everyone would shut the fuck up out there!” and Julian says “Ricky, what are you doing?” and the dogs keep on barking and Ricky says “Assholes!” and points his gun out into the distance and Julian says “Ricky! Listen give me that gun.” and Julian takes Ricky's gun and Ricky says “You don’t know what it’s like living in a car, Julian. I got insects and animals fucking me around in here.” and I’m like “I'm guessing he has never gone camping in his life” and Julian says “That’s what you got to deal with when you live in a car.” and Julian says “I can’t sleep!” and Julian says “Go to sleep.” and I’m like “ this reminds me of a conversation with a parent because I have a track record of waking up in the middle of the night and going downstairs and get a snack and there was this one time at my dads house I was staying up on my iPad and I was hungry so I get something to eat but turns out I was making to much noise because I heard my dads footsteps and I knew my dad was a hard sleeper and I stood at the table with my tablet in my hand and my snack on the table and I stood stiff as a board like a deer in headlights I couldn’t move and then I was face to face with my dad and he was holding a knife in his hand and I was saying to myself “I’m fucked” but all dad said was “go back to sleep” and headed back to bed and I was surprised because my parents both take it away from me once they see me with my iPad at midnight but dad gives it to me the next day and mom makes me earn it and also makes me earn it back by attending church and believe me I would never fuck with my dad”



and Julian says, “You know what? You’re moving out of here tomorrow.” and Ricky says, “Why?” and Julian says “‘Cause you’re driving me nuts! You’re shooting guns off in the middle of the night.” and Ricky says “It’s not a big deal.” and Julian says “Think, Ricky, Think!” and Ricky says “I can’t sleep is the problem.” and Julian says “Go to sleep.” and Ricky says “Can I have my gun back in case anything happens?” and Julian is about to give his gun back but then says “No more of this shit.” and Ricky says “I won’t fire it unless I absolutely have to.” and Julian says “You’re not gonna fire it at all.” and gives Ricky's gun back and Julian says “Go to sleep! Idiot.” and Julian goes back inside his trailer the Dog barks again and Ricky says, “Shut up. Shut up! Shut up!” and he shoots at the dog and I’m like “he shot the fucking dog because you can hear it whimpering or screaming in pain” and I couldn’t stop fucking laughing because Rick is trying to kill a dog. After all, it won’t let him sleep and Julian says “Ricky put that thing away!” and we cut to the morning Ricky is sleeping in his car and a cat is behind him and Bubbles looks through the window of Ricky’s car and Bubbles starts banging on the top of the car roof and Ricky pulls his gun on Bubbles and Bubbles says to Ricky “I want my kitty.” and Ricky says “Frig off, Bubbles! You gave me the cat.” and Bubbles says “I didn’t say you could keep him, and I don’t want him living in a fucking car.” and Ricky says “Bubbles, you’ve got tons of cats. Let me keep him.” and Ricky says, “Let me keep him.” and Bubbles says, “He was a loaner. I loaned him to you.” and I burst out laughing and I’m like “what the fuck do I find funny about this sentence” and Ricky says, “Well, I need him. Look at my weed plants. One of them is dead.” and I burst out laughing at Bubbles response “I don’t give a flying fuck. I never said you could keep him.” and Ricky says “What the hell are you doing waking me up so early?” and Bubbles says “No cat of mine is gonna live in a car.” and Julian comes outside and Ricky says “Julian.” but Julian comes out saying “Both of you guys shut up.” and Bubbles tells Julian “Ricky won’t give me my Kitty.” and Julian says to Ricky “Ricky, give him his cat.” and Julian says “It’s my cat now. He gave it to me.” and Julian says, “I don’t care. Give him his cat!” and Ricky grabs his weed plant, showing them saying “Look, you see that? You know why that plant’s dead? ‘cause a squirrel peed in it. That’s why I need the cat. It protects my weed plants.” and Julian leaves to get a carrier and Ricky says, “I’ve got four plants left, guys. It’s all I got left in my life. Please, let me have one cat to protect my plants.” and as Ricky is saying this, Julian opens the door and puts the cat into the carrier and Bubbles gives some words of advice “Here’s what I know, Ricky. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, you own it. If it doesn’t, you don’t own it. And if it doesn’t you’re an asshole, just like you.” and those words of wisdom impacted me, and even when writing this it still has impacted me and I will never forget these words of wisdom until my death and Ricky says “Give me the cat. Give me the cat.” and Julian hands the carrier to Bubbles and Julian says “Stay in the car. Bubbles, take your cat.” and Bubbles takes the car and Julian says, “Get out of here. Ricky, you stay in the car.” and Bubbles walks off with his cat and Ricky says “You let me out of this car right now.” and Ricky tries to bust down the door but Julian is in the way and Julian says “Ricky! Calm down!” and Ricky says “Fuckin’ let me out of here! I want that cat back! I need him.” and Julian says “Bubbles, get out of here! and Julian says “Calm down, Ricky.” and Ricky says “I just got woken up in the middle of a great dream, and I’m pissed off!” and I’m like “I know what that feels like *cough* *cough* “school” and we cut Julian inside his trailer with his Voice Answering machine saying “Next Message. Julian, Mr. Lahey here. I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things -- some gunshots, a reprobate living in the car in front of your trailer, and oil leaking from said car.” and when Mr. Lahey says that we cut to Randy urinating and we cut back to Julian when Mr. Lahey says “I’ll come by and see you real soon, Julian. All the best.” and Ricky closes the car door behind him and lays down and the answering machine says, “Next message.” and we cut back to Julian and the voice that comes over the voice answering machine saying, “Julian, I need to talk to you, and Trinity needs to see you. Why don’t you return my calls? Can’t you at least do that? Hey? I’m coming over there we need to talk. And today’s subject is responsibility.” and Trinity in the background says “I want to see Julian!” and Lucy says “Call me back.” and the voice answering machine says “End of Message.” and we cut to Lucy who explains that the only she is with Ricky is because grows dope and I’m like “so you're a weed digger my version of a gold digger but this one is after the weed and I’m already hating this girl” and we cut to Ricky who explains he broke up with Lucy and then he changes the topic saying “Bubbles, get off my property.” and Bubbles in the distance response “Go fuck yourself, Ricky.” and I'm like “I wish I had Bubbles balls of steel to say that to my mother” and Ricky continues talking about how hope she comes around and then he gets up and says “Bubbles, frig off and get off my property.” and Ricky and Bubbles get into a fight and we cut to Julian and we see through his window Ricky and Bubbles fighting and as Ricky and Bubbles are fighting Julian tells us how she meet Lucy and we cut to Lucy telling us that nothing really happened and we cut back to Julian who tells us they basically eat a shitload of mushrooms and he experienced memory loss and when he woke she was naked in bed with him and a car pulls up and Corey and Trevor get out of the car and they walk up to Julian’s trailer and Julian says “Oh, Fuck!” and Trevor knocks on the door and Julian says says “What?!” and Corey says “What’s up, Dude?” and Julian says with pissed off tone “What do you want?” and Corey says “You got any dope, man?” and Julian says “You guys ever consider going back to school?” and slams the door on Corey and Trevor and we cut to Corey and Trevor walking down the road talking and Trevor says “and now it’s not cool for us to come around and buy dope because of the camera crew.” and Corey says “Yeah, man, Julian acts all crazy now with the cameras in his face and everything. And not to dis you guys or anything, but he gets all stressed out and it’s like he can’t handle it. You know what I mean? He yells at us and everything.” and we cut to Ricky and Bubbles fighting and Ricky sees Lucy with Trinity and Ricky says “Bubbles, just a second please.” and I’m like “You should never take your eye off of your opponent” and Ricky says “Lucy! What are you doing here?” and Lucy says “I’m leaving Trinity with Julian. I need a brief vacation.” and Ricky responds, “What about her father? I can take care of my daughter.” and Lucy says sarcastically “Great! Trinity, why don’t you get your stuff and go stay in the car with daddy? Perfect.” and Ricky says “What, the back seat of a car is not good enough for you now?” and Lucy explains why she would rather have Julian take care of Trinity than Ricky and I 100% agree and Trinity says “You smell bad Ricky.” and they walk up to Julian’s trailer with Lahey and Ricky says “I’m Sorry, Bubbles attacked me and -- “ and is cut off by Bubbles attacked from behind saying “You do, Ricky. You -- “ and Lahey knocks on the door saying “Julian! It’s Jim Lahey! Open the door up. We got a little matter to discuss Last night.” and Lucy knocks on the door saying “Julian, open the door!” and Lahey says “Julian, open the door up now.” and they pound on the door and a car pulls up and Lahey says “If you don’t open the door --” and Trinity says “Julian!” and Lahey says “Open the door, mister!” and J-Roc’s friends get out of the car and Lahey says “This is official business, Julian.” and Lucy says “Julian!” and Ricky says “Lucy!” and Lucy responds to Ricky “Shut up!” and J-Roc’s friends start harassing Corey and Trevor and Trinity says “Julian!” and we see Ricky and Bubbles on the porch fighting and Julian comes out pissed and Julian says “Hey!” and I’m like “I feel you man there's only so much noise I can take before I tell you to “Shut the fuck up” or “Fuck off” and also because I have anger problems“ and Lucy says “Julian, what are you doing? Why haven’t you answered my calls? I got Trinity here!” and Julian takes out his gun shooting into the air trying to make people shut the fuck up and Julian says “Everybody shut up! You think I need this? Huh? I’m leaving. I’m out of here! I’m out of this trailer park! Get off my lawn! Get off my lawn!” and closes the door behind him and Lahey tells Randy. I could use reinforcements.” Here.” and Lucy says to Ricky “Nice, Ricky, Thanks.” and Bubbles is the only one left and Lahey says “Clear out of here, Bubble.” and I love Bubbles response “Go fuck yourself.” and we cut to Ricky mixing water with some red stuff in a pitcher and Ricky says “You know, ever since you guys have been around with your TV cameras, Julian has changed. You know, he’s getting all frustrated, and he's taking his problems out on me and other people in the park. It’s crazy.” and we see the outside of Julian’s trailer as Ricky says “He lives in there, in a palace, and he’s all stressed out.” and we cut back to Ricky saying “I live out here in a car, and I’ve got everything I need. And I’m happy. I mean, this is my home. So I don’t know what his problem is.” and he drinks the red substance and I’m like “oh that must be Kool-Aid” and we cut to Julian shaving and Julian says “Ungrateful. Ricky is ungrateful. He’s been driving me nuts, living in that car, and I just can’t wait to get the hell out of this park and finally do something productive with my life.” and I’m like “I 100% agree I want to get out of my mom's house and live with my dad because then I wouldn’t have to go to church and we cut to Julian outside and Julian tells Ricky that he is leaving the trailer park and Ricky is shocked and we cut to Lahey tells us that Julian is not leaving without Ricky and we cut to Julian and Julian says “You know, I can’t get away from everybody. It’s like, “Julian, I need this. Julian, I need that. Julian, can I live in your car?” Julian, I need some vodka.” I’m sick of it!” and Ricky enters the door saying, “What’s going on, buddy? hey. Hey, guys. You want a couple of drinks?” and Julian says “Actually, Ricky, I don’t feel like talking to anybody right now, all right?” and Ricky says come o, man, let’s get wasted.” and Lahey enters the trailer and Julian says “What do you want?” and Lahey says “You still planning on leaving the park?” and Julian says “Yep!” and Ricky says ”Do you guys want a drink? I’m just pouring some drinks here if you want one.” and Lahey says “A couple of things I think you should know about before you do.” and Julian says “What’s that, Lahey?” and Lahey says “Well, first, You’ve got a 24-month lease signed up with Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Number Two, You got a derelict piece of shit out front that’s leaking oil all over the grass, and it’s gonna require an environmental soil test, which you’re liable for. Number three, you owe me $1, 600 for outstanding site fees from when you were in jail. Number four, you try to leave here -- ” and Ricky cut Lahey off saying “Number one, listen. Number one, you can fuck off. Number two, you can fuck off.” and Randy says “Watch your language.” and Lahey says “Thank you very much, Rick. You got a -- you're just a one-note pony, aren’t you? Why don’t you mind your business? Or I’ll tell the cops you're breaching probation. Every time you turn around, you put your fucking foot in your mouth. You guys, we had a couple -- 18 months here of peace in this trailer park. You’re back here for a day, and what have we got? Bullshit!" and Ricky says “whose fault is that?” and Lahey says “It’s your fault! You’re not leaving without that guy. I’d love to see you leave this park, but you’re not leaving here without that guy.” and we cut to Randy scooping up the soil under Julian's car into a jar and Ricky comes outside saying “What are you doing?” and Randy says “getting a soil sample to test for oil contamination.” and Ricky says, “Get the fuck off my property. Off my property.” and Lahey says “Hey, Ricky, do you want me to ask my friends down at the police station if it’s okay for you to be drunk in a place and carrying a loaded handgun while your you're on probation?” and Ricky says “Why don’t you do your job instead of making false incriminations all the time?” and Lahey says “Why don’t you get a life, Ricky? Why don’t you go to community college like Julian here? Hey, I have a good idea. You can teach living in a car and growing dope 101.” and Ricky responds “and you could teach how to get drunk, get fired from the police force, and become a lousy Trailer-Park supervisor that sucks, hangs around with a fucking idiot that doesn't wear a shirt and looks like a dick but thinks he looks good 101.” and Lahey says “Get the car off the property, or I’m gonna order a really expensive Soil-Contamination test. You got that?” and Julian says “Lahey, get off my lawn.” and Lahey and Randy walk off while Ricky says “You guys got nothing better to do? You fucking idiots.” and Ricky says, “Look, I know you’re stressed out, but don’t worry about it, cause here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re gonna get drunk and eat chicken fingers, me, you, and the old man. He’s gonna be here in about 20 minutes.” and Julian makes a great point “Ricky, life isn’t about getting drunk and eating chicken fingers all the time, all right? Lahey's right.” and Ricky responds confused “Lahey's right?” and Julian says “Why don’t you try doing something with your life for once instead of living in this car like a drunken idiot, eating chicken fingers and getting drunk?” and Ricky responds, “You think you’re so smart because of your dumb book learning, Julian. Well, you’re not that smart. I know what’s going on. You’re just showing off on Frigging Tv again. “Hey, look at me. I’m Julian, Big smart guy.” and Julian says “I’m warning you, Ricky, no blues music, no Ray on my frigging lawn drunk, and no chicken fingers. Don’t test me!” and as Julian walks off and we cut to Ricky listening to blues and cooking chicken fingers and Ray on his lawn turns out Ray is in a wheelchair and I burst out laughing and me and Ray are both jamming to this song and Ricky accidentally drops some nuggets and says “Shit!” and Julian walks out and is fucking pissed and throws over the extension cords and Ricky says “What are you doing, Julian? The chicken fingers aren’t even cooked. Do you want us to get sarsaparilla or something, you dick?” and Julian walks over to Ricky as he says “Julian, I’m trying to cook some lunch here for me and my dad.” and Julian says “Get out of my way.” and Julian gets into the car to turn the music off and both me and Ray are complaining because those were some great tunes and I agree with Ray when he says “Hey, what are you doing with the tunes, Julian?” and Julian says “Get off my property, Ray!” and Julian tries to push Ray’s wheelchair off of his lawn but Ray says “Why? Wait up. Hey. Ho!” and Ricky holds onto his wheelchair saying “Take it easy, man.” and Ray says “No, No, forget it, Ricky.” and Ricky let’s go of the wheelchair and Julian pushes him off his law and Rays says “If he doesn’t want me here, I’m going, man. I’m not wanted here.” and Ricky says, “It’s my property!” and Ricky responds “No, forget it.” and Ray pushes himself saying “Come on down to my house. I got lots of chicken fingers down there, man.” and Julian says to Ricky pissed off, “This is my car, this is my property, and this my toaster. I want you out of here.” and Julian unplugs the toaster and empty’s the chicken fingers onto the ground and I’m like “that’s a waste of food” and Rick agrees with me as he says “I can’t believe you just did that. Those are the good kind, 8 bucks!” and Julian says “I’m not joking Ricky.” and Ricky responds “Yeah? Well, you forgot about something. You gave me one weeks notice, so this is my property for the next week, not yours.” and Julian says, “I don’t care, Ricky. Off my property. This is my property.” and Ricky says, “You’re being a dick. You can go to college and get your little PFD or whatever the fuck it’s called. I don’t care. You know what? You’re no better than me. Even though you think you are.” and Julian says “Don’t lecture me, Ricky.” and Ricky says confused “Don’t what?” and Julian has a giant smirk as he says “You don’t know what “Lecture” means, do you?” and Ricky says “I know what “Lecture” means. Do you?” and Julian says “What does it mean, then?” and Ricky says “It means that, uh…” and Julian is smiling when he says “It means what? and Ricky says “You get in a situation and…” and Julian says “what situation?” and Ricky says “You know I didn’t get my grade 10, you asshole. That’s a low blow, Julian.” and I burst out laughing and I’m like “holy shit he is grade 10 and I’m grade 11 does that mean I’m smarter than Ricky by 1 grade, and next year I’m graduating” and Ricky says, “You know what? Fuck you and fuck your car and fuck your lawn. I’m going to my dad's to get drunk. You just lost a friend. I hope you’re happy.” and we cut to Lucy and Sarah walking down the road and Lucy says “Ricky has relied on Julian to help him figure out, like, lots of different things for a long time.” and Sarah says “Yeah, like since junior high and shit. and Lucy says “Huh.” and Sarah says “You know? And remember, Ricky dropped out of Junior high ‘cause Julian stopped helping him.” and I’m like “well that explains a lot and as they say “The More You Know” and we cut to Randy in a car driving down the road and Ricky says “Ricky - - when he’s stressed, he uses alcohol. He gets totally intoxicated, and we’ll find him laying down in the middle of the street here. You know, driving along, there he is.” and we cut to Ricky laying down in the middle of the road kids gather around Ricky probably trying to rob him and the kids remind of Vultures feasting off a dead carcass and when the kids see Julian running towards them they run off and Randy’s voice says “We’re always getting complaints about Ricky. And it happens at least once a week. And you can’t be doing that in this Trailer Park. and Julian wakes Ricky up by saying “Ricky, wake up. Come on, man, it’s me. Rick, Rick.” and Ricky starts to slowly wake up and Ricky says “What the fuck are you doing here, man? Get that fucking camera off me, you dick.” and Julian says, “Listen, Rick, we’ve been friends our whole lives, man. This is ridiculous. Do you understand what I’m saying?” and Ricky says “No, Julian, and that’s the problem. You know, understanding is one of the things I have trouble with. That’s why I’m gonna miss you so much when you move, buddy. You’re the one that helps me understand things. You make things clear in my head so that everything comes together, and it just makes sense to me. I’m stupid. I know that.” and we cut back to Lucy and Sarah walking down the road and Sarah says “You know, Ricky really thinks he’s stupid, though. That’s why he relies on Julian so much.” and I’m like “The more you know” and Sarah says “When we used to go out, he’d always talk about how stupid he was and how he couldn’t do anything about that ‘cause he was too stupid to do anything about it.” and Lucy says “Poor guy.” and Julian says “You’re not stupid, Ricky.” and Ricky responds “It’s okay, Julian. I know I’m stupid. I know nothing.” and we cut back to Sarah and Lucy and Sarah says “It’s not even like Julian’s that much smarter than Ricky.” and Lucy says “It’s kind of like -- What is it? Like they’re co-dependent or whatever.” and Sarah says “Totally Co-dependent.” and Lucy says “Co-Dependent. Totally.” and we cut back to Ricky taking a smoke and Julian says “Well, you know lots about car parts and stuff, Ricky. That’s why I’m here. I need your help, buddy. I’ve got to get that car off the front yard. I need to steal some parts, and I don’t know what parts fit what. You do. That’s what makes you smart, man.” and Ricky says, “I don’t know, man. It’s gonna take a lot of parts to get that car off the lawn.” and we cut to Ricky and Julian stealing car parts and Julian throws out a car part and Rick says “What are you talking about? It’s perfect.” and Julian asks “You got it?” and Ricky says “Yep. This is gonna work out fine.” and behind them, a police car pulls up and Ricky says, “What the fuck? Just stay calm, Julian, I’ll take care of it. Just say nothing.” and the two police officers get out of the car and Ricky holding a metal gas tank or whatever the fuck it is, and he says “How’s it going guys?” and as the police officers approach him Ricky says “Filming a little documentary here for the life network. It’s kind of like “cops” from the criminals’ point of view.” and the cops say “Hold it.” and he says to Ricky “put that down.” and Ricky says “Guys, this is a $700 exhaust system.” and the cop says “put that down. Put it down.” and Ricky says “Easy there, Magnum P.I.” and the officer says “Now. Get against the vehicle right now.” and the officer asks “what’s your name?” and Ricky responds “My names Corey" the officer asks Julian “Sir. Your name?” and Ricky says “That’s -- That's Trevor.” and the officer says “He can tell me that.” and the police officer says “Turn around, Trevor.” and Julian turns around and the officer says “Let me see your hands. Slowly.” and the officer takes his drink and I know this is a weird time but I’ve been wondering what Julian is always drinking and it turns out to be called Coda Libre and this is the definition of Coda Libre from Wikipedia “Rum and Coke, or the Cuba Libre is a highball cocktail consisting of cola, rum, and in many recipes lime juice on ice. Traditionally, the cola ingredient is Coca-Cola ("Coke") and the alcohol is a light rum such as Bacardi.” and the officer says “We got a call about some fellas out here stealing car parts.” and the officer drinks Julian’s cocktail and then hands it to him and Ricky says “Yeah, we’re the ones that Called you guys.” and the officer says “got open liquor here.” and Ricky says “No, No, No.” and the officer says “The caller didn’t, Frank --“ and Ricky says “Chachi, look, you don’t have to call us in.” and Ricky says “Look, I’m just doing --“ and is cut off by the police officer saying “It’s officer Poole, not chachi.” and the police officer says “Sir…” and Ricky says “We’re just doing a TV show.” and the officer says “Stay back -- Stay back against the tailgate, sir.” and we cut back to Lucy and Sarah and Lucy says “he’s got this god-given way of sort of throwing the cops, like, a smoke bomb so they can never sort of figure out what’s going on. It’s like they’re stupid with him.” and Sarah says “Like, they get sidetracked on something else totally different. They come in, try to arrest them. The next thing they know, they’re somewhere else, doing something completely different.” and I’m like “I wonder why people have never tried this in the real world” and we cut back to Ricky and Ricky says to the police officer “Guys, we’re on live tv here. I just want you to remember that, okay? This is part of your monthly evaluation. I didn’t want to tell you. We’re not supposed to tell you.” and the police officer says, “You stay right there.” and the police officer looks at the camera when Ricky says, “That’s why the cameras here, guys. That’s why the Tv is here.” and the officer says “Frank.” and Frank says “Yeah?” and the officer says “Frank, come on back here. I think they got us again.” and we cut back to Lucy and Sarah and Sarah says “He’s almost like a superhero when it comes to dealing with cops, you know? He’s got this whole thing he does. He’s so great, and he always gets away with shit.” and Lucy says “Almost.” and Sarah says “Well, Almost always, I guess.” and Ricky says “Nice meeting you.” and the officer says “Yeah, sorry, fellas, nice meeting you. Thanks, Corey.” and Ricky says “Good Job. Good Job, Guys.” and they say “Try and have a good day.” and Ricky says “No problem” and you can see how disappointed Julian is and Ricky says “I’ll send a copy of the taps to your department head probably next week. Thanks, guys. Guys” and they say “You have a good day.” and Ricky says “You too.” and we cut back to J-Roc’s friend starting up the car saying “Spray!” and we see J-Roc spraying it and J-Roc’s friends say “Spray now!” and J-Roc says “I'm spraying!” and the engine finally turns on I jump up in joy and Julian says “Joey, shut her down.” and Julian says to joey “You are the man! You are the man!” and Joey hands Julian the keys to the car and he says “Yes, There you go.” and Julian says “Thanks, man” and Julian asks “How much do I owe you?” and Joe says “It's free.” and Julian says “What?” and Joey says “Hey, it's a going-away gift.” and J-Roc says “Words up. On the house. Piece.” and Julian high-fives J-Roc and saying, “Thanks for the jump, boys.” and J-Roc says “A'ight? Peace out. Good luck, sucker! and when Julian hands his keys to the car to Ricky when he says “Ricky, here you go, buddy. She's all yours.” and Ricky says “What? What are you talking about?” and Julian says “she's all yours.” and Julian puts the keys in Ricky's hand Ricky says “You're giving me your car.” and Julian says “Yep.” and Ricky hugs him and says “Man, I love you.” and Julian says “Easy, Easy, Ricky. Gonna spill my drink.” and Ricky says “I love you, man. Do you know what this is gonna mean to Lucy? I got a car now.” and Ricky drives up to Lucy’s trailer and they take a driver and Ricky has an emotional speech for Ricky over the answering machine and Randy and Lahey come by and they learn he is not leaving.


Olr. Gun Control Legislation in Canada, 29 Sept. 1994, www.cga.ct.gov/PS94/rpt/olr/htm/94-R-0838.htm#:~:text=Firearms%20are%20federally%20regulated%20in,the%20military%2C%20to%20possess%20them.









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