A teenage boy and his friends face off against a mysterious grave robber known only as the Tall Man, who keeps a lethal arsenal of terrible weapons with him.
On October 19, 2020, I watched Phantasm Remastered and it was on Vudu for free and I said to myself "well at least it's better than nothing" and wow was it fucking awesome and this movie is not recommended for Kids and if you do, then you're horrible parents why because it scarred your children for life just like my mom because my grandad took my eight-year-old mom to go see Jaws and scarred her for the rest of her life but it was a good thing my mom was out when I watched this movie👍 because she hates it when I watch horror movies and mom will never be my puppeteer telling me to watch or not watch and if I had the balls I would tell her "to go fuck herself" but she would beat me up. But in the beginning of the movie I didn't understand because in the beginning when Tommy and Lady in Lavender are having sex and thanks to the knowledge that Scream gave to me I was like "Tommy is going to die" and that girl pulls and starts stabbing him and I'm like "who fucking guessed it" and there is a question I always ask myself when watching them naked I'm like "I wonder how they do it is it some sort of suit or do they actually make them get naked on camera" and we meet Jody and Reggie and right off the bat we know something is off cause we hear strange noises and we meet Mike and we know something is not fucking right cause something with a cloak making some weird ass noise and I jumped out of my skin when The Tall Man places a hand on his shoulder and says "The funeral is about to begin sir" and I'm like "holy fuck" and we see The Tall Man take the Tommy's funeral with him and me and Mike and I were both like "What the fuck" and seeks advice from a fortune teller, and we learn Mike follows Jody a lot I'm like "I got a feel like somebody's watching me" and looks like his bike is haunted by the paranormal 👻 spooky and a fortune teller believe that its all in his head which is bullshit and Mike finds a Dwarf which makes him scream his head off and I love Jody's reaction and The Girl in Lavender disappears and Mike had a scary dream which scared me and Mike sees The Tall Man and I'm like "holy fucking shit" and when he makes eye contact with Mike I'm like "fucking run" and Mike is fixing a car but the Dwarfs are in the garage now and I'm like "oh fuck" they jump on the car which eventually comes down on him and I'm like "ouch" and so Mike suits up to go face his fear at the funeral home and breaks into the funeral home and finds a bunch open coffins and when The Caretaker comes straight at us I tensed up saying "oh fuck" and Mike gets captured by the Caretaker and bites him that he bleeds, which confused me because no one can bit them that hard that they start to bleed unless it's a bunny, and you have your shirt off and a bunny bites you and yes, I'm talking about a real-life experience and it went something like this "my shirt was dirty and so I took it off and my little sister wanted me to get her bunny out of the cage and so I did and I wanted to hold her bunny but I think her bunny was sick cause the next thing I knew was that her bunny bit me and I started bleeding out of my chest the blood was drizzling down" but the caretaker gets killed by a Christmas ornament with horns and blood suck from him and The Tall Man appears behind him and we get a chase scene and once The Tall Man starts bleeding yellow blood from Mike cutting off his fingers I'm like "he is not human" and the dwarf is right behind him chasing him out of the funeral home and I love it how mike is sitting on the stars with a loaded shotgun and Mike shows Jody evidence of the cut off finger and Mike believes him and I love that scene cause its when nonbelievers become believers and the finger transformed into some sort of fly creature and this fly is a tough one and Reggie comes by and wonders "what the hell is going on" and they suit up and I love Jody's quote about aiming a gun
“Now, remember. You don't aim a gun at a man unless you intend to shoot him. And, you don't shoot a man unless you intend to kill him. No warning shots.” - Jody
Jody goes to investigate the funeral home and he was jumped by a dwarf but Jody kills him with multiple shots and Mike was Jody's getaway car and they learned that one of the dwarfs was Tommy who died in the beginning of the movie and they load Tommy into Reggie's ice cream truck and they try to think why they are taking these dead bodies and Reggie takes Mike over to Sally's and we learn The Tall Man has been here forever and Tommy wakes up pissed and Jody has dream about The Tall Man coming towards him, then getting pulled through a hole in the wall by dwarfs and it turns out Reggie's car got flipped on the side and they get ambushed by a bunch of dwarfs and Mike got threw out of the back window in the car and take Sally and someone else and I was like "wake up Mike" and once he wakes up and starts running I'm like "yes there you go now run" and arrives at his house and tells Jody the news and Jody locks him in his room, but I was like "wow Mike is a smart ass" for attaching a shotgun bullet to a hammer smashing it against the door made a hole in the door and The Tall Man is waiting at the front door for Mike which surprised me and Mike made a smart decision shooting at the tire and Mike goes into towards the funeral home and Jody finds out his Mom and Dad coffins are empty and Mike reunites with Jody and Reggie surprises us all cause we all thought he was dead and we enter the mysterious door and see hundreds of barrels stacked up in a white room and it turns out dwarfs are in the barrels and Mike finds a portal to the dwarf's world and the power goes out and Mike get jumped by a dwarf and Reggie touches the portal which sucks everything in but Reggie manages to escape and meanwhile outside there is a giant windstorm and Reggie dies by Lady in Lavender stabbing him and it’s revealed Lady in Lavender and The Tall Man are the same person and Jody thinks about luring The Tall Man into the old mine shaft which is 1,000 ft straight down and Mike is home alone and The Tall Man punches through the glass and now The Tall Man is inside the house and The Tall Man kicks down the door and we get a chase scene between Mike and The Tall Man and I found The Tall Man‘s quote interesting and I wonder what he meant by
“You play a good game, boy, but the game is finished. Now you die.” - The Tall Man
When The Tall Man comes out of the bushes that surprised and ends up luring him into the mine shaft pit which is 1,000 ft deep and kill him by Jody rolling boulders down a hill onto him and it’s revealed it was all a dream I’m like “What in the actual fuck so you're telling me it was all a dream I was not expecting that at all and I got to say The Director pulled the carpet from under us when he made that move” and Reggie is still alive and turn out Jody was dead I was shocked cause we all saw him and The Tall Man appears behind him through a mirror and I was like “so it was never a dream” and gets pulled through a window by Dwarfs.
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